Health care: Take it or... well, take it

Remember when we used to talk?

The prime minister backed by wordless sentinels

Hi, and welcome to Laurentian Hospital! We’re not just a compassionate provider of patient-centred care, we’re also an extended allegory designed to poke fun at current trends in executive federalism.

Take a seat! Sometime in November at the earliest!

I just want to remind you that if you’re here for a hip replacement, you can buy one in Montreal for $20,000. While you’re thinking it over, here’s a pamphlet about how if you vote the wrong way, we’ll wind up with two-tier health care.

You’ll be glad to hear your care team is hard at work on your care plan. The surgeon just met the anesthesiologist in person for the first time since 2018. We’re very excited. We think it went great. Although it’s hard to be sure because they’re holding simultaneous news conferences two kilometres apart. She gave him a two-hour presentation about how much money she’s willing to spend on your procedure. Of course he doesn’t get to respond, except on Instagram. But he did tell a talk-radio host that the money on offer is about one-fifth of what he needs.

But don’t worry, we’re pretty sure he’s bluffing. Guess you’ll find out! Just put this mask on and breathe in until you pass out.

A little more seriously…